Being a careerwoman, is it okay? - A Muslim girl perspective -

Pic source: Pinterest

It’s no doubt that in our society, Indonesia, gender equivalence is still a controversial topic. A lot of pro and cons from both sides, each holding on their beliefs. Most of the time, religion was dragged into this issue, quoting some citation from the Holy Quran and Hadith.

Without trying to trigger any parties, I must say that sometimes, what the contra side stated on is just ‘too much’. I’m not going to explain what it means nor what I’m referring to, but I believe Indonesian and Muslim readers understand what it is. And here, I’ll focus on one sub-topic of the gender equivalence issue – career woman.  

As far as I know, there is no explicit or even implicitly citation in our Holy Quran and Hadith about the prohibition of a woman to work. Even our Prophet Muhammad SAW wife, Siti Khadijah r.a. was a businesswoman in that era. That’s a historical fact that we cannot rebuff. 

So why do people, especially men forbid their wives for having a job?

Okay first, in my opinion, there is one main reason. It’s a stereotype. The mindset in our society that women’s nature is being a good housewife and mother by just staying at home. Again, at home. This ‘doctrine’ made me thought,

“So, in other words, are you are making a justification that a career woman is not a good wife and mum? How could you simply judge that way? Can you guarantee that her household is a mess just because she’s a career woman?”

   

These questions keep on floating around my head since I was a kid. Moreover, my mum is a career woman working outside, and Dad is okay. I always wondered whether my Dad decision on supporting my Mum working outside is right or wrong. As I grow up, I tried to think more logically and seriously about this. I’m a woman, and at some point in my life, I’m the one facing this issue.

I always try to be realistic, try to see the reality of true events from both pro and cons side. Learning based on the experience of my family, my neighbors, friends, acquaintances and from anyone I know. Experience is the best teacher. For me, their life stories are great lessons in making decisions for the future.

Some women I know dedicated their life as a full-time mother staying at home. I can’t dissent that what they did and how they are brave enough on choosing that path of life is just amazing. Being a wife and a mum is hard. It’s a tough job, working 24/7, no holiday at all. Tiring? Definitely. Especially if you have lots of kids and not hiring any housemaid or assistant, it will be way too exhausting. I never look down on any women who chose this path. Never. They are cool, amazing, and will always be.

However, as we live in a finite life full of possibilities, we never know how the future might be. We never know how long we can depend on someone, on our husband.

Will he always be able to support financially?

Will he always be healthy?

Will he die suddenly?

Will he be with you forever and never change his heart?

Will he always be there for you?

I’m not trying to scare anyone here, yet these questions are possible and can never be answered confidently with yes nor no. Its full of uncertainty.

Conducive to all odds, I always see the terrible possibilities that may happen. Not because I’m negative-minded (which might be – but no), I'm realistic. Life is not a Cinderella or any other Disney Princess stories that will always live happily ever after. Sometimes bad events may come, and you must face it, no matter what.

Based on the experience from people I mentioned before, (well sorry to say) those who are a full-time mother at home faced plenty of difficulties when left by their husband (by death or divorce). They have no job, they have no income and left with kids to be raised. Perhaps during the first couple of months relatives might give some hand, but they can’t always rely on them.

Try to imagine being in that position. It’s arduous.

Thus, or you implying that every woman should work outside home and be a career woman?

No. That’s not my point. If your husband is supportive and grants the permission working outside, I do encourage you to do so. Notwithstanding, what I’m trying to state here is every woman should have at least one skill (which can lead some income). Not like in the early 1900s, women nowadays are highly educated. What’s the use of being educated but not skillful at all?

Skillful and working doesn’t always refer to do something outside the house.

If you’re good at cooking delicious foods, try to do catering or sell daily home food.

If you’re good at making tasty cakes and biscuits, try to start a bakery or sell homemade one.

If you can do sewing and knitting, make tailoring a part-time business at home.

If you’re good at marketing, persuading people, and have excellent communication skill, try to sell any good stuff online and offline from home. 

And many other things which I can’t mention all. You can do anything. As long there’s a will.

Let me share a short story which I deem quite inspired me.

I have an aunt who was working in a well-known company at Jakarta. After she got married, her husband asked her to resign and become a full-time wife and mother at home. My uncle here is a freelance consultant. Consultant income is undoubtedly high, but it doesn’t come every month. When there’s no project, there’s no income. Luckily, my aunt is a smart and hardworking wife. She decided to try help in financial by doing small business at home. She seeks on rice distributor and chicken slaughterhouse and become a reseller in her neighborhood. When she cooks some food, she prepares some extra portion and sells it to her neighbors. She cooked fried onions, packaged it well and sells it. She baked cakes and sells it. She sells anything that she can. Surprisingly, what she did help admirably. Her marketing skill is excellent, and so the food.

See? We never know what kind of situation we might end up with. What if my aunt here doesn’t have any skill? They might face a crisis financial problem. They might end in debts with their relatives, or worse the bank. Which is not good and a big no-no.

So, the conclusion?

Concerning all the potentialities, I want to be a career woman, and I say it’s okay. I don’t see any adverse impacts from it. As long I can choose a job that doesn’t impair my responsibility as a mother and wife — a job which doesn’t contradict with my religious beliefs.

What if my future husband prohibits me?

I’ll state from the beginning, that I want to work and he cannot disallow. Unless he’s a billionaire or a prince charming from some wonderland, I might reconsider. *LOL*

Nabila-ers

You know she's your best friend when its hard to say goodbye. Instead goodbye you'll be cryin' ' a river' realizing that our time our era has passed and life must go on.

Kalau harus memilih waktu yang paling dirindukan selama kuliah S1 di IPB ini, itu adalah saat bersama para sahabat di kampus, terutama saat kumpul malam saling share cerita dan random talk bersama sahabat kosan.

Bukan berarti teman yang lain tidak dirindukan.
Teman asrama, teman TPB, teman kuliah di Ilkom, itu juga seru dan penuh kenangan. Senang dan bahagia banget punya pengalaman dan banyak kenangan bersama mereka.
Bahagia dan bersyukur di asrama punya 'Ambigu', di TPB punya 'Ciwi-Ciwi Cantik', dan di Ilkom punya 'Kecen'. Semuanya masih stay in touch sampai sekarang dan masih tetap ramai saat kumpul.

Hanya saja teman kosan itu punya tempat sendiri yang sedikit lebih. Karena aku menghabiskan jauh lebih banyak waktu bersama mereka selama di Bogor ini.

Agitha dan Wasil yang udah se-kosan dari zaman Trio Oryza, sampai nambah personil Sarah saat jadi Nabilaers.

Cerita kita selama satu kosan itu banyaaaak banget.
Air kosan mati yang bawa drama panjang sampai ke asrama, membunuh ular yang padahal kecil tapi udah ketakutan, begadang nugas imk diganggu sama kalajengking, kumpul belajar setiap mau ujian dengan banyak lagu yg mengiringi, cerita-cerita tentang si teteh Oryza, bunyi mesin pompa air sebelah kamar di Oryza yang terdengar selalu, kasur epic kalian di oryza yang masih tetap sangat epic di ingatan ini sampai sekarang, diriku yang selalu mampir di kamar berakhir ketiduran ntah di lantai ntah di mana dengan kaos kaki yg rajin ketinggalan, idul adha bareng yg masak rendang telur berujung jadi semur telur, rekam video lipsync padahal masih minggu ujian, random talk malam sampe nyanyi gak jelas.

Ah banyaaak pokoknya terlalu panjang kalau ditulis satu-satu tak akan cukup.

Aku kangen masuk anggrek terus buka kamar Agitha dan Wasil yang jarang dikunci dan melihat kalian ntah lagi bobok ntah lagi main game di hp ntah lagi nonton ntah lagi skripsweetan atau apalah.

Aku kangen masuk anggrek suka denger suara Sarah ketawa2. Kirain ada temannya ternyata ketawa sendiri nontonin Oppa Yesung-nya atau anime.

Aku yang pulang kuliah hampir selalu mampir dulu di bawah gak langsung ke atas sekadar duduk ngobrol-ngobrol  berakhir guling-guling terus ketiduran. Bangun-bangun masih setengah sadar terus ke atas dan kaos kaki sering tertinggal.

Sekarang, kalian semua udah fix meninggalkan ku sendiri di kosan ini. Setiap lewat rumah anggrek selama beberapa bulan ke depan sampai aku kelar S2 nanti pasti bakal sedih dan baper.

Pas Agitha pindahan, I can't say goodbye secara langsung (takut mewek juga, sih) meskipun malemnya beneran mewek sedih.

Pas Wasil akhirnya mulai pindahan pertama setelah dapet SKL itu juga mau mewek, dadah-dadahan depan pomi, nahan banget biar gak mewek soalnya masih di kampus stay di bunker nugas (meskipun ujungnya air mata netes juga diem-diem di bunker).

Tapi itu masih mikir dia pasti ke sini untuk wisuda. Pas hari wisudanya malemnya pun sedih karena Wasil akhirnya resmi keluar kosan.

Sampailah yang terbaper tersedih mau tidur gak bisa berhenti mewek itu semalam, di hari wisuda Sarah.
Wasil udah gak ada alasan lagi ke Bogor, dan Sarah juga udah tinggal ambil ijazah.
Secara resmi mereka semua udah ninggalin daku di kosan ini.

I know, kehidupan kampus itu hanya awal, karena real life dimulai setelahnya. Life must go on, begitupun dengan kalian, dengan kita.

Terima kasih sudah memberikan kenangan anak kosan yang sangat penuh warna ini. Tanpa kalian cerita anak kosanku gak akan se-menyenangkan ini.

Masa Nabilaers telah usai, tapi tidak dengan hubungan kita, ya.

With lots of tears and love,

Owew.

Cacatnya Runningman (bagian 1)

Assalammualaikum readers.

Liburan yang sebenernya gak liburan ini mau gua isi dengan rajin posting di blog gua yang sudah sekian lama sepi. Baru beberapa hari yang lalu gua bersihin sawang dan debu yang numpuk di blog ini. Dan sekarang mau gua tata ulang dan mengisinya dengan  hal-hal baru biar fresh gak budukan. Haha.

So~ gua mau curcol aja kali ini. Cerita hal-hal yang gua suka belakangan ini. You know lah, gua udah pernah cerita sebelumnya kalo gua suka sama variety show asal Korea Selatan yaitu Runningman. Bahkan variety show itu seperti membunuh perlahan  harddisk laptop gua. Sepertiga isi laptop ini sepertinya Runningman. Haha. Tapi gua gak masalah sih, itu variety show yang dijamin bisa bikin ngakak deh. Seriusan. Beberapa temen gua udah gua racuni dan mereka jadi nagih gitu, rutin minta sama gua yang punya episode lengkap dari awal sampe yang terbaru. Seeeeeet. Eh, bahkan ada temen gua yang dulu sama sekali gak ngerti dan bingung kenapa ngakak nonton RM, sekarang jadi addict mampus.

Ini dia beberapa gambar RM members!

Jadi, sekarang gua mau ‘meracuni’ readers setia gua dengan sharing the reasons why i love RM so much dan juga berbagi sedikit info (lagi) tentang 7 member tetapnya dan gimana acara itu berlangsung.

Well, first post ini gua mau ngasih picture dari scene RM yang menurut gua ce-ce-de. Gua suka RM karena ide-ide permainan yang disajikan itu bener-bener ridiculous. Cacat banget. Gua kasih beberapa sampel dah.

1.     1.  A Leisurely Cup of Tea

Jadi kan RM awal itu model acaranya ‘terkurung’ di suatu landmark dari pagi ke pagi lagi.  Untuk game yang ini dilaksanakan di malam hari, saat member dan guest udah pada ngantuk, capek pengen ketemu kasur tapi gakbisa. Jadi biar mata gak merem mereka disuruh kayak tanding minum tea antar-team, tapi teanya gak sembarang tea. Ada tata cara bikinnya. Dari jumlah gula yang dimasukkin, jumlah kopi, jumlah telur, jumlah lemon, dll. (Sebenernya emang bukan minum teh(tea), disebutnya doang tea, tapi sebenarnya maksudnya minuman yang bisa bikin mata melek). Gua kasih beberapa potongan scene RM-nya nih.

Earpick-As Small  As An Ear Dirt

(Korek kuping, bisa ngambil berapa butir gula coba?)

A Soup Spoon Full of Sugar (?)

(Itu lemon pake gula apa gula pake lemon?)

Faster Pouring than Scooping

(Terlalu ridiculous. LOL.)

A Garden Shovel

(Bahkan gelasnya aja lebih kecil daya tampungnya, HAHA)

Look at his eyeballs!

(efek kopi sesendok gula secentong nasi,wkwk)

Ridiculous banget gak sih? 12 lemon Cuma dikasih gula se-dongkrak kuping? Terus ya lemon segitu dikasih gula se irus buat ngambil kuah sop itu. Ada sekop buat berkebun pula. Haha. Gua ngakak banget pas pertama kali liat game ini.

2.       2. Draw in Row

Game ini Cuma dua kali diadain di RM. Pertama di awal yang kedua episode udah 90an keatas ini. Rulenya itu bikin barisan yang terdiri dari anggota team. Terus 1st player bakal dikasih liat sebuah kata yang harus dituangkan ke dalam bentuk gambar dalam waktu 10 detik. Terus 1st player nunjukin gambar dia ke 2nd dan yang 2nd harus gambar apa yang 1st gambar dalam 10 detik juga. Seterusnya sampe pemain terakhir nebak itu gambar apa. Simple sih ya, tapi bagi gua game ini cukup berkesan karna gua sempat ngakak guling-guling pas liat game ini waktu guestnya DBSK Max Changmin and U-know Yunho. Puncak ngakak gua itu pas liat gambarannya Yunho. Check the scene below~

 

Is that a rhinoceros or a rhino-worm?

Gua lucu aja, kok ya bisa Yunho menggambarkan badak seperti itu. Sebenernya masih ada gambar lain yang cacat juga, tapi gua males nge-cropnya. Kalo kalian kepo silakan tonton RM ep 27, bisa didownload di isubs.

3.     3.   Psychic Power

Ini adalah sesuatu yang sangat tidak masuk akal. Kekuatan supranatural, childish banget gak sih? Jadi seinget gua psychic power ini udah 3 kali diadakan di RM dalam berbagai versi. Pertama pas Christmas Special, kedua pas Psychic Power Soccer guestnya Park Jisung and IU, ketiga pas Super  Power Baseball guestnya Ryu Hyoojin sama Choo Shinsoo. Beberapa physic power itu kayak pas guestnya Park Jisung sama IU, kekuatan menggeser gawang ke kanan kiri, kekuatan bisa terbang, bisa berhentiin waktu, dll. Kalo Baseball kayak kekuatan ganti ukuran bat pemukul, ganti ukuran bola, duplikasi pelempar, dll. Tiga episode Psychic Power itu cacat dan gak masuk akal, tapi gua Cuma mau nunjukin segelintir adegannya. Cekidot!

Cacat banget kaaaan? Haha. Super Power? Memalukan sekali kawaaaan. Ada-ada aja emang variety show satu ini.

Fiuh, capek juga gua ngetik ini. Segitu dulu aja kali yaa. Ntar kalo ada waktu gua lanjutin. Pegel soalnya. Hehehe.

Kalo tertarik untuk nonton and kepoooo banget uniknya RM ini gimana, silakan download episodenya di isubs atau kshownow.  Link lengkapnya cari di mbah gugel aje yee.

Oke, sudah dulu yak. Sekian dan terimakasih. Bye-bye~~

Wassalam

Tertanda,

Deasfina Dedew Oeoew

Running Man Download and Streaming Link

 Hello there! For everyone out there which is a big fan of running man and searching links to download or stream their videos, let me share here some of the links that may help you out. (For your information some links may not work or expired)

Ep 1: RM Episode 1

Ep 2: RM Episode 2

Ep 3: RM Episode 3

Ep 4: RM Episode 4

Ep 5:RM Episode 5

Ep 6:RM Episode 6

Ep 7: RM Episode 7

Ep 8: RM Episode 8

Ep 9: RM Episode 9

Ep 10: RM Episode 10

Ep 11: RM Episode 11

Ep 12: RM Episode 12

Ep 13: RM Episode 13

Ep 14: RM Episode 14

Ep 15: RM Episode 15

Ep 16: RM Episode 16

Ep 17: RM Episode 17

Ep 18: RM Episode 18

Ep 19: RM Episode 19

Ep 20: RM Episode 20

Ep 21: RM Episode 21

Ep 22: RM Episode 22

Ep 23: RM Episode 23

Ep 24: RM Episode 24

Ep 25: RM Episode 25

Ep 26: RM Episode 26

Ep 27: RM Episode 27

Ep 28: RM Episode 28

Ep 29: RM Episode 29

Ep 30: RM Episode 30

PASCA AUSSIE (2)

Assalamualaikum sobat readers yang budiman. Kali ini gue mau story-story lanjutan dari Pasca Aussie(1). Maaf telat banget lanjutinnya, ane akhir-akhir ini lagi disibukin sama urusan sekolah, waktu nge-blog berkurang deh. Hiks.

But it’s okay, sekarang gue yang lagi in the good mood ini mau sharing cerita gue jaman aussie dulu. Cekodot… eh maksud gue Cekidot!

HALUS KASAR

Readers kalian kalau SD nya di Indonesia pasti deh pernah ngerasain pelajaran HALUS KASAR. Itu loh, yang belajar nulis tegak bersambung pakai pensil di buku. Buku nya juga gak sembarang buku. Bukunya khusus, banyak garis-garis gitchuuuu, unyuu pokoknya (?) haha

Jadi kan gue yang dulu baru pulang dari Aussie kelas 2 SD ini kagak tahu menahu tuh yang namanya halus kasar. Tau-tau di SD gue tercinta itu ada pelajaran nulis di buku aneh itu, yang baru pertama kali gue liat di dunia sejak gue lahir. Guru gue yang bernama Bu Asnawati itu terus nulis kata-kata “Hemat pangkal kaya, rajin pangkal pandai” (yang baru-baru ini gue tau itu namanya pribahasa) gitu di papan tulis item (waktu itu kapur masih trend meeen). Terus temen-temen gue serentak pada langsung buka buku buat nulis juga. Gue pertama diem. Bingung Asli, bingung. Guru gue juga gak ada tanda-tanda mau mengajarkan gue bagaimana menulis di buku anh itu. Akhirnya setelah sekian lama, gue memutuskan untuk mulai menggoreskon pensil gue di kertas itu. Pelan-pelan namun pasti, gue tulis huruf-huruf sesuai sama apa yang Bu Asna tulis. Dan…

JENG JENG

GUE SELESAI! GUE BERHASIL! Gue Cuma membutuhkan waktu gak sampe 5 menit untuk menyelasaikan tulisan gak seberapa itu. Gue tengok kanan kiri, temen-temen gue masih pada nulis.

“Wah! Hebat jug ague bisa selesai duluan. Hahaha.”pikir gue bangga.

Setengah jam kemudian guru nyuruh ngumpulin tugas nulis halus kasarnya. Gue dengan bangga lasngsung ngumpulin ke depan. Pas gue papasan sama temen gue, tau-tau dia ngomong gini.

“Lho? Kok punya Shofi aneh sih? Gede banget. HAHAHAHAHA”si anak itu ngetawain gue sadis. Temen-temen yang lain pada ngerubungin gue terus paa ketawa setan gitu. Gue bingung. Gue ngeliat temen-temen yang lain. Pada kecil-kecil semua. Waduh, salah nih. Pikir gue.

Padahal kan harusnya bener, guru kan nulis di papan tulis besar-besar, ya gue nulisnya harus besar jugalah. Dan lo tau pebandingan tulisan gue kayak mana??? Liat neeee…..

Hahaha. Gede banget yaak? Kalian pasti bakal ngakak kalo lagi ada di kelas gue waktu itu. Hihi. Dan gue inget banget muka guru gue waktu itu shooooccckkk banget. Kaget kali. Tapi beliau mungkin maklum juga berhati mulia dan memberi nilai 65 untuk tulisan jumbo itu. Wakakakaka…

Malu kalo gue inget kejadian itu. >///<

Udah dulu yaaak. Gue mau berangkat les. Babaayyy.

Wassalam.

Tertanda,

Deasfina Dedew Oeoew