Being a careerwoman, is it okay? - A Muslim girl perspective -

Pic source: Pinterest

It’s no doubt that in our society, Indonesia, gender equivalence is still a controversial topic. A lot of pro and cons from both sides, each holding on their beliefs. Most of the time, religion was dragged into this issue, quoting some citation from the Holy Quran and Hadith.

Without trying to trigger any parties, I must say that sometimes, what the contra side stated on is just ‘too much’. I’m not going to explain what it means nor what I’m referring to, but I believe Indonesian and Muslim readers understand what it is. And here, I’ll focus on one sub-topic of the gender equivalence issue – career woman.  

As far as I know, there is no explicit or even implicitly citation in our Holy Quran and Hadith about the prohibition of a woman to work. Even our Prophet Muhammad SAW wife, Siti Khadijah r.a. was a businesswoman in that era. That’s a historical fact that we cannot rebuff. 

So why do people, especially men forbid their wives for having a job?

Okay first, in my opinion, there is one main reason. It’s a stereotype. The mindset in our society that women’s nature is being a good housewife and mother by just staying at home. Again, at home. This ‘doctrine’ made me thought,

“So, in other words, are you are making a justification that a career woman is not a good wife and mum? How could you simply judge that way? Can you guarantee that her household is a mess just because she’s a career woman?”

   

These questions keep on floating around my head since I was a kid. Moreover, my mum is a career woman working outside, and Dad is okay. I always wondered whether my Dad decision on supporting my Mum working outside is right or wrong. As I grow up, I tried to think more logically and seriously about this. I’m a woman, and at some point in my life, I’m the one facing this issue.

I always try to be realistic, try to see the reality of true events from both pro and cons side. Learning based on the experience of my family, my neighbors, friends, acquaintances and from anyone I know. Experience is the best teacher. For me, their life stories are great lessons in making decisions for the future.

Some women I know dedicated their life as a full-time mother staying at home. I can’t dissent that what they did and how they are brave enough on choosing that path of life is just amazing. Being a wife and a mum is hard. It’s a tough job, working 24/7, no holiday at all. Tiring? Definitely. Especially if you have lots of kids and not hiring any housemaid or assistant, it will be way too exhausting. I never look down on any women who chose this path. Never. They are cool, amazing, and will always be.

However, as we live in a finite life full of possibilities, we never know how the future might be. We never know how long we can depend on someone, on our husband.

Will he always be able to support financially?

Will he always be healthy?

Will he die suddenly?

Will he be with you forever and never change his heart?

Will he always be there for you?

I’m not trying to scare anyone here, yet these questions are possible and can never be answered confidently with yes nor no. Its full of uncertainty.

Conducive to all odds, I always see the terrible possibilities that may happen. Not because I’m negative-minded (which might be – but no), I'm realistic. Life is not a Cinderella or any other Disney Princess stories that will always live happily ever after. Sometimes bad events may come, and you must face it, no matter what.

Based on the experience from people I mentioned before, (well sorry to say) those who are a full-time mother at home faced plenty of difficulties when left by their husband (by death or divorce). They have no job, they have no income and left with kids to be raised. Perhaps during the first couple of months relatives might give some hand, but they can’t always rely on them.

Try to imagine being in that position. It’s arduous.

Thus, or you implying that every woman should work outside home and be a career woman?

No. That’s not my point. If your husband is supportive and grants the permission working outside, I do encourage you to do so. Notwithstanding, what I’m trying to state here is every woman should have at least one skill (which can lead some income). Not like in the early 1900s, women nowadays are highly educated. What’s the use of being educated but not skillful at all?

Skillful and working doesn’t always refer to do something outside the house.

If you’re good at cooking delicious foods, try to do catering or sell daily home food.

If you’re good at making tasty cakes and biscuits, try to start a bakery or sell homemade one.

If you can do sewing and knitting, make tailoring a part-time business at home.

If you’re good at marketing, persuading people, and have excellent communication skill, try to sell any good stuff online and offline from home. 

And many other things which I can’t mention all. You can do anything. As long there’s a will.

Let me share a short story which I deem quite inspired me.

I have an aunt who was working in a well-known company at Jakarta. After she got married, her husband asked her to resign and become a full-time wife and mother at home. My uncle here is a freelance consultant. Consultant income is undoubtedly high, but it doesn’t come every month. When there’s no project, there’s no income. Luckily, my aunt is a smart and hardworking wife. She decided to try help in financial by doing small business at home. She seeks on rice distributor and chicken slaughterhouse and become a reseller in her neighborhood. When she cooks some food, she prepares some extra portion and sells it to her neighbors. She cooked fried onions, packaged it well and sells it. She baked cakes and sells it. She sells anything that she can. Surprisingly, what she did help admirably. Her marketing skill is excellent, and so the food.

See? We never know what kind of situation we might end up with. What if my aunt here doesn’t have any skill? They might face a crisis financial problem. They might end in debts with their relatives, or worse the bank. Which is not good and a big no-no.

So, the conclusion?

Concerning all the potentialities, I want to be a career woman, and I say it’s okay. I don’t see any adverse impacts from it. As long I can choose a job that doesn’t impair my responsibility as a mother and wife — a job which doesn’t contradict with my religious beliefs.

What if my future husband prohibits me?

I’ll state from the beginning, that I want to work and he cannot disallow. Unless he’s a billionaire or a prince charming from some wonderland, I might reconsider. *LOL*